I'm so afraid of death. Not mine, I'm already at peace with the fact that I will one day die. Perhaps today or tomorrow. But I weep for the pain that anyone around me will feel when I am gone. It gets me because it's just unimaginably tragic. I want my life to never change. I want my family and friends to always be there and let me take them for granted. I'm tired of being so empathetic. Watching movies where everyone dies, it's just building my fear. I won't know how to deal with death. Especially if there is no warning. I know I won't be able to function. I'll sit and cry violently for hours on end. They say that farmer's children deal with death and grief better because they've seen it before in animals and know it is just the way of life. But I think I feel it more. I feel it more because the cows and dogs and rabbits and pigs can't feel it. And I think they have souls and someone needs to care. There is no resolution to this post.

it's been a while.

But last night, I had a dream about the presidential election. True story.
It was like, the national conventions had just taken place, and Obama got the democratic nomination, but the head council of the republican party made an executive decision to not pick McCain. Instead they chose a black man (whose name was in my dream, but i forget.) and said he was going to be the candidate. It was so lame because everyone knew they were just trying to keep up with Obama and failng miserably. But this new guy/candidate was pretty cool, too. So it made the race a lot closer, but Obama was still going to win.

Weird, huh.