In case you guys didn't know, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world. I have the most incredible guy in my life and he never gets tired of me. He is just...incredible. I still can't believe that we met the way we did, and everything that's happened since. It's been an awesome time. And not only do I love him, but I love us. I love what we are together and how some small moments it just hits me that we interact in ways no one else does. I love how he laughs at his own jokes (which are the same ones over and over again, and not always funny) and how he can't not be ticklish, even for just a second. How he listens to my stories about people he doesn't know and makes the sober face at the bell game with a mohawk. That's the same mohawk he said for weeks he wasn't going to get, and then he called me and said he changed his mind. It looked awesome anyway. I love how he's smarter than me and how he doesn't act like it. And that he won't drink Sunset Wheat because it doesn't taste like beer (it tastes like blueberry muffins) and how he wears his funny white hat all the time. I love that he teases me the same as his friends sometimes, and how I'm friends with his friends and I don't think it's weird. I love that we are so different, but somehow developed the same sense of humor. Also how he's a lover not a fighter. How we never fight. How people respect him and look up to him and it never goes to his head even though we joke about it. I love that we can get drunk together and the smell of blackberry smoke and slightly sweaty skin. Most of all, I love that he listens. He pays attention to me. I don't have to tell him anything twice (although I still do) and he takes everything I say to heart. He does whatever he can to make my life easier, even if it's something unnecessary like getting me ice cream. I want you all to feel the same way in your lives, because it has been so amazing.
/cheesiness.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
this is becoming only a dream journal, but i like my dreams
There were zombies in this one too. But for real this time. They had white spots where their pupils shoud have been, but when they moved their eyes, the white spot stayed in the middle. It happened because the whole world got zapped with some radiation or something that no one could control. None of them knew it was coming. Me and my friends weren't affected because we had been caught ina kind of time warp that was showing us the universe from a real point of view. How every planet had one spot on it that never moved. Earth's was somewhere in the island chain off of Alaska. We were told that's where the Heart of the Ocean (yes, from Titanic) was really located, but it didn't make sense because it was in the Pacific not the Atlantic. We were told not to ask questions about the truth of the universe. We zoomed out even more and realized that it wasn't the planets that circled the sun, but that each body was caught in a vortex of space-time that made it appear we all moved along peacefully in circles around the sun. Instead, the universe isn't so peaceful. It was really violent motion as all of the vorteces were fighting against each other for power. We were returned to our lives, only to find that the rest of the world had been zapped into zombies. We didn't know if it was because of our time-warp or not. At first we thought we were doomed to be the only sentient beings on Earth until we died, but then a man and his son jumped into their pickup truck that didn't have white eye spots. The zomebies weren't hard to live with if you just avoided them. News traveled quickly of more and more people that had avoided the zap in some way or another. I knew that a certain type of hair gel was going to repel the radiation (totally comic book, I know) and so I kept applying it to myself and others. The man and his son and I got separated from the rest of the group (including Katrina, Cari Beth, and others). The man had a radio in his pickup truck for some reason, and when we passed a semi on the highway i used it and found out that Katrina was safe inside along with others. We stopped at someone's house and Eric Nestel was there and he apologized sincerely for being kind of a dick to me, I wanted to go into the room with him, but I didn't. We decided our best plan of action was to head west to leave Cari in Colorado and then we could be in California two days from now. With all this free time we kept dreaming about the coast. I remembered that we had better load up on gasoline, food, and hair gel.
The end.
The end.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
just around the riverbend...
The weird thing about saying 'I love you' and trying to describe its deepness, its profoundness, its sheer passion is...you can't.
The only person your feelings will ever mean anything to is yourself. Now before you go all lovey-mcgee on me, hear me out. I was watching Meet Joe Black tonight and while Anthony Hopkins is telling the skinny daughter that he loves her right before he dies...it hit me. It's simply impossible to convey feelings to any other entity. They can not feel the warmth in you gut when they hug you, or the flutter in your chest when they kiss you. No one else can feel that passion inside of you. Now I know your thinking, but I feel good when someone tells me they love me. But do you really? Or are you just feeling a wave of relief because you were so worried that they didn't love you? Even now, I can't convey this idea that I have in a way that makes sense in words. I can't make it comprehensive in my mind or on this screen, I can only know what I feel to be the truth and try my best to make you feel at ease that someone else in the world just maybe feels the same way. When someone who you don't love, or even like, confesses their feelings towards you, you feel immediate disgust, regret, or even anger. They cannot communicate how true or real their love is, because you will only feel disgust towards them.
*note* love in this paragraph is used loosely to describe any strong feelings one person may have for or about another person.
The only person your feelings will ever mean anything to is yourself. Now before you go all lovey-mcgee on me, hear me out. I was watching Meet Joe Black tonight and while Anthony Hopkins is telling the skinny daughter that he loves her right before he dies...it hit me. It's simply impossible to convey feelings to any other entity. They can not feel the warmth in you gut when they hug you, or the flutter in your chest when they kiss you. No one else can feel that passion inside of you. Now I know your thinking, but I feel good when someone tells me they love me. But do you really? Or are you just feeling a wave of relief because you were so worried that they didn't love you? Even now, I can't convey this idea that I have in a way that makes sense in words. I can't make it comprehensive in my mind or on this screen, I can only know what I feel to be the truth and try my best to make you feel at ease that someone else in the world just maybe feels the same way. When someone who you don't love, or even like, confesses their feelings towards you, you feel immediate disgust, regret, or even anger. They cannot communicate how true or real their love is, because you will only feel disgust towards them.
*note* love in this paragraph is used loosely to describe any strong feelings one person may have for or about another person.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
dreams again, i just don't want to forget them
This one is less beautiful than my previous dreams, but instead it's kind of funny.
The back story is that my dad and his dad have a full head of hair. my dad's brother is bald bald bald, like his mother's father (my great grandpa) who coincidentally, shares a birthday with me.
the dream:
I am sitting in my grandparent's porch with my dad, grandpa, uncle, and another uncle who i don't have in real life. i had just gotten home from school or something and was trying to make small talk when my uncle made a crack about my dad's hair. i looked and he had a noticeable bald patch on the back of his head. i looked at my grandpa to see if he had started balding too, but he still had a full head of white hair. my dad looked really disappointed and sad that this was happening to him, even though both of his brothers are complete cue balls. i wanted to go home, but then grandma came in with M&M's so i stayed a bit longer.
The back story is that my dad and his dad have a full head of hair. my dad's brother is bald bald bald, like his mother's father (my great grandpa) who coincidentally, shares a birthday with me.
the dream:
I am sitting in my grandparent's porch with my dad, grandpa, uncle, and another uncle who i don't have in real life. i had just gotten home from school or something and was trying to make small talk when my uncle made a crack about my dad's hair. i looked and he had a noticeable bald patch on the back of his head. i looked at my grandpa to see if he had started balding too, but he still had a full head of white hair. my dad looked really disappointed and sad that this was happening to him, even though both of his brothers are complete cue balls. i wanted to go home, but then grandma came in with M&M's so i stayed a bit longer.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
bored.
69 truths.
1. single or taken? we haven't really talked about it yet. except we have. i feel good about this one.
2. zodiac sign? Scorpio and lovin' it.
4. male or female? female
6. elementary ? St. Ambrose School
7. middle ? Shenandoah Middle School
8. high ? Shenandoah High School/The Indiana Academy for Science, Mathematics, and Humanities
9. eye color ? grass and dirt.
10. hair color ? brown.
15. are you health freak ? no. i eat cookie dough out of a tub.
16. height ? 5' 5"
17. do you love someone ? i love all of my friends to some degree.
18. do you like yourself ? yep.
19. piercings you've had ? ears
21. righty or lefty ? lefty
FIRSTS
23. first piercing ? ears
26. first sport ? soccer? swimming?
27. first pet ? Angus, my chow mix dog.
28. first vacation ? eh? probably first real one was florida for my grandparent's 50th anniversary
29. first concert ? no idea. first cool one was dashboard/SoCo in columbus.
CURRENTLY :
31. eating ? skittles.
32. drinking ? water
33. listening to ? michael kelsey
YOUR FUTURE:
36. want kids? ? definitely.
37. want to get married? ? if it feels right, but it's not imperative to me.
38. want a big house? as long as it can still have a cozy feel.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE PREFERRED SEX? :
39. lips or eyes? ? both?
40. looks or personality? both again.
41. athletic or lazy? ? at least willing to play sports for fun and be in decent shape.
42. intelligence or attraction? ? i'm attracted to intelligence.
43. romantic or spontaneous? ? spontaneity is romantic.
44. nice stomach or nice arms? ? this only applies to guys really, so why does it say 'preferred sex' above?
46. hook-up or relationship? ? both have their place, but they are not to be confused
47. body or mind? ? mind
HAVE YOU EVER :
49. kissed a stranger ? yes
50. lost glasses/contacts ? i just lost a contact in lake shafer when i got pushed in.
51. ran away from home ? no
52. broken any bones ? right index finger had a tiny tiny fracture once. it doesn't really count.
54. broken someone's heart ? not too seriously, i hope.
55. been arrested ? been close more times than i like to admit to.
57. cried when someone died ? i don't think so.
58. liked a friend ? i like all my friends...i even said above that i love them!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
59. yourself ? yes
60. miracles ? yes
61. love at first sight ? not really.
62. Santa Claus ? i don't even think it's a good idea for little kids to believe in santa.
63. sex on the first date ? no, it ruins things.
64. kiss on the first date - if it feels right.
65. angels ? not really in a traditional sense
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
66. Is there one person you want to be with right now? ? i can think of several people that i want to be with, but none of them are here.
67. Have you really liked someone that you shouldn't have? ? what? i'll like whoever i want to like!
68. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? ? no
69. Do you believe in God? ? i believe in the soul of the world and fate
1. single or taken? we haven't really talked about it yet. except we have. i feel good about this one.
2. zodiac sign? Scorpio and lovin' it.
4. male or female? female
6. elementary ? St. Ambrose School
7. middle ? Shenandoah Middle School
8. high ? Shenandoah High School/The Indiana Academy for Science, Mathematics, and Humanities
9. eye color ? grass and dirt.
10. hair color ? brown.
15. are you health freak ? no. i eat cookie dough out of a tub.
16. height ? 5' 5"
17. do you love someone ? i love all of my friends to some degree.
18. do you like yourself ? yep.
19. piercings you've had ? ears
21. righty or lefty ? lefty
FIRSTS
23. first piercing ? ears
26. first sport ? soccer? swimming?
27. first pet ? Angus, my chow mix dog.
28. first vacation ? eh? probably first real one was florida for my grandparent's 50th anniversary
29. first concert ? no idea. first cool one was dashboard/SoCo in columbus.
CURRENTLY :
31. eating ? skittles.
32. drinking ? water
33. listening to ? michael kelsey
YOUR FUTURE:
36. want kids? ? definitely.
37. want to get married? ? if it feels right, but it's not imperative to me.
38. want a big house? as long as it can still have a cozy feel.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE PREFERRED SEX? :
39. lips or eyes? ? both?
40. looks or personality? both again.
41. athletic or lazy? ? at least willing to play sports for fun and be in decent shape.
42. intelligence or attraction? ? i'm attracted to intelligence.
43. romantic or spontaneous? ? spontaneity is romantic.
44. nice stomach or nice arms? ? this only applies to guys really, so why does it say 'preferred sex' above?
46. hook-up or relationship? ? both have their place, but they are not to be confused
47. body or mind? ? mind
HAVE YOU EVER :
49. kissed a stranger ? yes
50. lost glasses/contacts ? i just lost a contact in lake shafer when i got pushed in.
51. ran away from home ? no
52. broken any bones ? right index finger had a tiny tiny fracture once. it doesn't really count.
54. broken someone's heart ? not too seriously, i hope.
55. been arrested ? been close more times than i like to admit to.
57. cried when someone died ? i don't think so.
58. liked a friend ? i like all my friends...i even said above that i love them!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
59. yourself ? yes
60. miracles ? yes
61. love at first sight ? not really.
62. Santa Claus ? i don't even think it's a good idea for little kids to believe in santa.
63. sex on the first date ? no, it ruins things.
64. kiss on the first date - if it feels right.
65. angels ? not really in a traditional sense
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
66. Is there one person you want to be with right now? ? i can think of several people that i want to be with, but none of them are here.
67. Have you really liked someone that you shouldn't have? ? what? i'll like whoever i want to like!
68. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? ? no
69. Do you believe in God? ? i believe in the soul of the world and fate
Friday, July 20, 2007
i've been thinking more and more about this, ever since someone asked me...
and I have a lot of pet peeves. In fact, the phrase 'pet peeve' is one of them.
In other words, here are things that annoy me.
-passive aggressiveness.
-people who have no public speaking skills at all. I know this isn't necessarily their fault, but sheesh they could at least speak clearly.
-dumb girls who think they are the shit.
-above mentioned girls that sing fall out boy songs like they've been singing them for 3 or 4 years but they haven't.
-girls who won't drink their own beer in beer pong. (i'm beginning to sense a trend)
-Peeps. No you can't call them my "pet peep".
-people who drink heineken.
-adults talking down to me like i'm any other delinquent. (I'm a smart delinquent dammit!)
-being intentionally avoided without knowing why. just tell me already.
-anyone who thinks squirrels are cuter than chipmunks.
-literary symbolism. I'm just reading for fun.
-dumb assignments for english class. or any class for that matter.
and I have a lot of pet peeves. In fact, the phrase 'pet peeve' is one of them.
In other words, here are things that annoy me.
-passive aggressiveness.
-people who have no public speaking skills at all. I know this isn't necessarily their fault, but sheesh they could at least speak clearly.
-dumb girls who think they are the shit.
-above mentioned girls that sing fall out boy songs like they've been singing them for 3 or 4 years but they haven't.
-girls who won't drink their own beer in beer pong. (i'm beginning to sense a trend)
-Peeps. No you can't call them my "pet peep".
-people who drink heineken.
-adults talking down to me like i'm any other delinquent. (I'm a smart delinquent dammit!)
-being intentionally avoided without knowing why. just tell me already.
-anyone who thinks squirrels are cuter than chipmunks.
-literary symbolism. I'm just reading for fun.
-dumb assignments for english class. or any class for that matter.
Monday, July 16, 2007
hey, slow down, hollywood
Oh anti-matter raisins and curry spiced poppadoms! what a long night. Playing killer bunnies is pretty much the most extreme thing ever for a rousing sunday night. I almost won, but instead I handed the girl who did win the winning carrot. I also decided that if we just audio recorded the entire thing, it would probably be the most riduculous thing ever and no one would have known what we were doing.
"Shiiit, I just suffered a terrible misfortune!"
"I'll trade you my halo for your hologram."
"But how DO you kill a cyber bunny?"
"I'll trade you two carrots for 3 cabbage and water."
"It's ok, I'll just use my anti-matter raisins or ebola virus against her next round."
"That bunny can drive a Delorian?!"
See what I mean?
I mean, you'd get the idea it was bunny-related. But it'd still be pretty ridiculous. It lasted at least 3 hours.
---------------------------------------------
A few more thoughts of the afternoon:
-Also, for the first time in 13 years, I'm not at the 4-H fair in Henry County. Extreme, I know. I strangely miss the smell of pigs.
-Cookie dough should be sold in tubes, like toothpaste. Except with a bigger hole to accomodate the chocolate chips.
-I saw the same girl three times today. Once when I was walking to English, she and I crossed the street at the same time, although she was riding a bike. Then again as I was walking to work, she was sitting on the fountain quad reading. And as I walked home, she rode past me behind Heavilon immediately after I swore I saw some construction guy taking a leak right in the middle of campus. (It turned out he was just standing with his hands deep inside his pockets while he was talking to someone else.) A little weird.
-A girl in my calc class is the spotlight student in the exponent. That the third person this summer, and ever, for that matter, that I've known to be in it. (side note: Also, she revealed that she "hates Harry Potter" in the interview. I thought I liked her before. But I guess I was wrong.)
-I want to go flying again. I wake up and see Janel's picture every morning and I love it and wish I could do it this summer too. If I could only figure out how to win the lottery...
"Shiiit, I just suffered a terrible misfortune!"
"I'll trade you my halo for your hologram."
"But how DO you kill a cyber bunny?"
"I'll trade you two carrots for 3 cabbage and water."
"It's ok, I'll just use my anti-matter raisins or ebola virus against her next round."
"That bunny can drive a Delorian?!"
See what I mean?
I mean, you'd get the idea it was bunny-related. But it'd still be pretty ridiculous. It lasted at least 3 hours.
---------------------------------------------
A few more thoughts of the afternoon:
-Also, for the first time in 13 years, I'm not at the 4-H fair in Henry County. Extreme, I know. I strangely miss the smell of pigs.
-Cookie dough should be sold in tubes, like toothpaste. Except with a bigger hole to accomodate the chocolate chips.
-I saw the same girl three times today. Once when I was walking to English, she and I crossed the street at the same time, although she was riding a bike. Then again as I was walking to work, she was sitting on the fountain quad reading. And as I walked home, she rode past me behind Heavilon immediately after I swore I saw some construction guy taking a leak right in the middle of campus. (It turned out he was just standing with his hands deep inside his pockets while he was talking to someone else.) A little weird.
-A girl in my calc class is the spotlight student in the exponent. That the third person this summer, and ever, for that matter, that I've known to be in it. (side note: Also, she revealed that she "hates Harry Potter" in the interview. I thought I liked her before. But I guess I was wrong.)
-I want to go flying again. I wake up and see Janel's picture every morning and I love it and wish I could do it this summer too. If I could only figure out how to win the lottery...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
another dream
I had another cool dream.
In this one, I was dressed up pretty nicely, I don't remember exactly what, but something along the lines of my grey polo and khakis...or that white skirt that Kristen got me from california...or...well you get the idea.
So I walk into the Den (at Purdue) and the counter isn't at the front, it's at the back where the soda fountains are in real life. And behind the counter, on shelves are tons of quirky little things, like stuffed birds and woven cloth and shrunken heads and stuff. The woman behind the counter looks like me--sort of. She looks like me as in she has similar features: green eyes, brown hair, about the same height. But she has her hair in dreadlocks and is wearing a long printed skirt and a earth colored shirt with multiple hemp necklaces and bracelets and a nose ring. I point at a terra cotta vase that is about 2 feet tall behind her, and she gets it for me and sets it on the counter in front of me. "Is that all?" I point at something else, something smaller, she gets that too. Then I ask her for 'the stuff you can't point at' and she nods, bends down and pulls out a bag of weed. She stuffs it into the top of the water pot and rings me up. I pay and walk out of the store into the parking lot, pretty damn proud of myself. But then I realize that I'm no longer wearing my clothes, I'm wearing what that woman was wearing, and my hair is in dreadlocks. I've become that woman behind the counter.
I feel like this dream has some kind of deep meaning for my life that I won't probe into...I mean, the shallow meaning is obvious---but I wonder what Freud or Jung would say about it. It was awesome though.
In this one, I was dressed up pretty nicely, I don't remember exactly what, but something along the lines of my grey polo and khakis...or that white skirt that Kristen got me from california...or...well you get the idea.
So I walk into the Den (at Purdue) and the counter isn't at the front, it's at the back where the soda fountains are in real life. And behind the counter, on shelves are tons of quirky little things, like stuffed birds and woven cloth and shrunken heads and stuff. The woman behind the counter looks like me--sort of. She looks like me as in she has similar features: green eyes, brown hair, about the same height. But she has her hair in dreadlocks and is wearing a long printed skirt and a earth colored shirt with multiple hemp necklaces and bracelets and a nose ring. I point at a terra cotta vase that is about 2 feet tall behind her, and she gets it for me and sets it on the counter in front of me. "Is that all?" I point at something else, something smaller, she gets that too. Then I ask her for 'the stuff you can't point at' and she nods, bends down and pulls out a bag of weed. She stuffs it into the top of the water pot and rings me up. I pay and walk out of the store into the parking lot, pretty damn proud of myself. But then I realize that I'm no longer wearing my clothes, I'm wearing what that woman was wearing, and my hair is in dreadlocks. I've become that woman behind the counter.
I feel like this dream has some kind of deep meaning for my life that I won't probe into...I mean, the shallow meaning is obvious---but I wonder what Freud or Jung would say about it. It was awesome though.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
i was a camera until i went blind
Vegans, freegans, and hippies.
Oh what a life we live. Contemporary and careless, yet oh so meticulous.
Tigger's was awesome. I want to live like that. It was the single earthiest place I've ever been to. I want conventional trash to be my treasures and display my art all around me. I want the trees below me, above me, all around me. I want hundreds of vinyl records from garage sales and a flip book of my friend being a ninja with a shovel in black and white. I want to keep my spices in old jam jars that are labeled with their common name and scientific name. I want a roommate named Piper. I want little sheds in my front yard with corrugated tin roofs and windows going every which way. Give me every single tiny piece of your leftover life and I'll make it into mine. I'll make my life bigger and better and so much cooler than yours. So throw away your old doors and windows and bicycles. I'll take them and create more beauty than you've ever seen. Give me time and motivation and supplies and I'll be happy. Let me free myself within no bounds and have about 17 coffee mugs that don't match. I want a tiny little shelf to put my cowboy hats on so they can collect dust while I get ready to unsink my homemade boat (made out of plywood, pine, and mostly tar) from the bottom of the lake.
I am such a hippie at heart. I love it.
Oh what a life we live. Contemporary and careless, yet oh so meticulous.
Tigger's was awesome. I want to live like that. It was the single earthiest place I've ever been to. I want conventional trash to be my treasures and display my art all around me. I want the trees below me, above me, all around me. I want hundreds of vinyl records from garage sales and a flip book of my friend being a ninja with a shovel in black and white. I want to keep my spices in old jam jars that are labeled with their common name and scientific name. I want a roommate named Piper. I want little sheds in my front yard with corrugated tin roofs and windows going every which way. Give me every single tiny piece of your leftover life and I'll make it into mine. I'll make my life bigger and better and so much cooler than yours. So throw away your old doors and windows and bicycles. I'll take them and create more beauty than you've ever seen. Give me time and motivation and supplies and I'll be happy. Let me free myself within no bounds and have about 17 coffee mugs that don't match. I want a tiny little shelf to put my cowboy hats on so they can collect dust while I get ready to unsink my homemade boat (made out of plywood, pine, and mostly tar) from the bottom of the lake.
I am such a hippie at heart. I love it.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Oh Tyler
He's right again. Why is objectification considered such an evil and shallow thing? It's about beauty, which comes in all kinds of different forms. And beauty is one of the only truths left in the world. You can't even trust a man's eyes anymore. They lie. But there is something peaceful, yet stimulating and exciting, something serene about desiring someone or something only for their form and appearance. It may be savage or primitive, but it fills a void that modern life has left empty. All of the deadly sins are necessary for vibrancy in your life. The desire for extravagance, luxury, greed, envy and the pride we all keep secretly inside ourselves isn't something to be ashamed of. It doesn't make me a slut just because I want to sleep with some guy that's so hot he could cook an egg on his chest. It doesn't make him a jerk if he doesn't like my personality.
I don't know about you, but I believe in pure, unadulterated LUST at first sight.
I don't know about you, but I believe in pure, unadulterated LUST at first sight.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Dreams and Things
This is what I wrote in my calculus notebook during lecture on Monday and Tuesday. So I had the dreams on Sunday night and Monday night, respectively.
Dream #1 (I think with some tweaking this could be a great action movie.)
For some reason, everyone had to be re-assigned which grade they should be in school. I was assigned fifth grade and I was having an okay time until I realized that they only put me in FIFTH GRADE?! and I was a little miffed, but not much more. It wasn't a big deal because we spent most of the time in the girls' bathroom. It was Logan Lacy, Kevin (whom I had just met in real life earlier that night), and some other nondescript boy and I who all used the girls' bathroom to change because they were gay and I was girl. In the classroom, which was my real life 5th grade classroom, there was an alcove that was full of my clothes. I was desperate to change clothes because I was wearing a school uniform and no one else was, but I also wouldn't settle for anything that didn't match. And all I had were cutsy little tulle skirts and tank tops with hearts or skulls prints. Some of these went together, but it was always an outfit that I just wasn't in the mood for. I didn't compromise and just wear something, either.
(*note, this may have been a separate dream all together, but it happened on the same night)
There is a security room full of screens that are from security cameras and a woman and a man, both professional, young, and smart are talking. The woman seems confused and bewildered, and the man seems annoyed. They are watching a video of a large platform (that kind of looks like the space needle) in the middle of a forest at night. The video is me and a boy jumping off of the platform and as we jump off we get struck my lightning and disappear. "We think they were transported to the future," the man says. "It just can't be," exclaims the woman. Cut to what really happened. I experience in first person the video that was just introduced and it's just a couple of happy kids having a good time and being joyful. Suddenly we are in a cold steely laboratory in the future, and we are being stared down by an equally cold woman and some faceless henchmen. They told us how they had turned the whole world into zombies and we were next. Apparently we were the chosen ones who were the only threat to their master plan. They left us alone to carry out the next portion of the plan and we escaped into a dark and greenishly glowing city. Guards came after us once we were spotted outside, but we had stolen many powerful guns from the bunker. We shot and shot but they didn't die. We remembered that everyone was "zombies". Except when we collapsed from exhaustion, they didn't eat us or look creepy. They talked to us about how much it sucked being a zombie. They just looked like normal men. Then a black car came speeding down the road and through the square we were situated in. We had been sitting among some rubble, sort of surrounded by it. It was the evil woman. We shot with all our remaining ammo, but missed and ran out quickly. Then she came directly at us and my friend and I looked at each other in desperation and terror. One of the undead guards motioned quietly and held up a gun and winked. I smiled back and nodded at him, thinking he would shoot her. But he looked away and slid it towards my feet. I waited to pick ut up until we was 6 feet away and shot at her forehead, expecting a small red hole to appear between her eyes. But wasn't a bullet gun, it was a poisonous needle gun. A hypodermic needle had hit her right in the throat, where a doctor cuts a hole to do a tracheotomy, she gasped dramatically as her eyes got wide and she died. With her dead, the guards could suddenly feel everything again and were no longer zombies. We traveled home to our own time through huge psychadelic time tunnels that we had also been shown during our short stay in the cold lab room. We stopped and marveled at several other times on the way back before landing back on the platform. Several others who had been zombies in the future were also traveling with us in the time tunnels because they had been kidnapped through them before they wre zombies.
Dream #2
I was pregnant and had known for a few weeks. I knew that I had to tell people, so I announced it over the ultimate email lists. It was a happy thing (even though it never said who the father was explicitly in my dream, I felt like it was Jon or Erik). But for some reason, my RA Sara (who doesn't even play ultimate) replied saying snottily, "Well, now you'll really have to work hard, because you were the weakest one at practice before." This pissed me off because she had onlly been at the first practice and didn't see me at sectionals when I scored half our goals and won most valuable offensive. I was just plain angry at her, but a part of me knew that the pregnancy would make me weaker eventually, even though I wasn't even showing yet.
Long and vivid and weird. That's how my dreams are.
Dream #1 (I think with some tweaking this could be a great action movie.)
For some reason, everyone had to be re-assigned which grade they should be in school. I was assigned fifth grade and I was having an okay time until I realized that they only put me in FIFTH GRADE?! and I was a little miffed, but not much more. It wasn't a big deal because we spent most of the time in the girls' bathroom. It was Logan Lacy, Kevin (whom I had just met in real life earlier that night), and some other nondescript boy and I who all used the girls' bathroom to change because they were gay and I was girl. In the classroom, which was my real life 5th grade classroom, there was an alcove that was full of my clothes. I was desperate to change clothes because I was wearing a school uniform and no one else was, but I also wouldn't settle for anything that didn't match. And all I had were cutsy little tulle skirts and tank tops with hearts or skulls prints. Some of these went together, but it was always an outfit that I just wasn't in the mood for. I didn't compromise and just wear something, either.
(*note, this may have been a separate dream all together, but it happened on the same night)
There is a security room full of screens that are from security cameras and a woman and a man, both professional, young, and smart are talking. The woman seems confused and bewildered, and the man seems annoyed. They are watching a video of a large platform (that kind of looks like the space needle) in the middle of a forest at night. The video is me and a boy jumping off of the platform and as we jump off we get struck my lightning and disappear. "We think they were transported to the future," the man says. "It just can't be," exclaims the woman. Cut to what really happened. I experience in first person the video that was just introduced and it's just a couple of happy kids having a good time and being joyful. Suddenly we are in a cold steely laboratory in the future, and we are being stared down by an equally cold woman and some faceless henchmen. They told us how they had turned the whole world into zombies and we were next. Apparently we were the chosen ones who were the only threat to their master plan. They left us alone to carry out the next portion of the plan and we escaped into a dark and greenishly glowing city. Guards came after us once we were spotted outside, but we had stolen many powerful guns from the bunker. We shot and shot but they didn't die. We remembered that everyone was "zombies". Except when we collapsed from exhaustion, they didn't eat us or look creepy. They talked to us about how much it sucked being a zombie. They just looked like normal men. Then a black car came speeding down the road and through the square we were situated in. We had been sitting among some rubble, sort of surrounded by it. It was the evil woman. We shot with all our remaining ammo, but missed and ran out quickly. Then she came directly at us and my friend and I looked at each other in desperation and terror. One of the undead guards motioned quietly and held up a gun and winked. I smiled back and nodded at him, thinking he would shoot her. But he looked away and slid it towards my feet. I waited to pick ut up until we was 6 feet away and shot at her forehead, expecting a small red hole to appear between her eyes. But wasn't a bullet gun, it was a poisonous needle gun. A hypodermic needle had hit her right in the throat, where a doctor cuts a hole to do a tracheotomy, she gasped dramatically as her eyes got wide and she died. With her dead, the guards could suddenly feel everything again and were no longer zombies. We traveled home to our own time through huge psychadelic time tunnels that we had also been shown during our short stay in the cold lab room. We stopped and marveled at several other times on the way back before landing back on the platform. Several others who had been zombies in the future were also traveling with us in the time tunnels because they had been kidnapped through them before they wre zombies.
Dream #2
I was pregnant and had known for a few weeks. I knew that I had to tell people, so I announced it over the ultimate email lists. It was a happy thing (even though it never said who the father was explicitly in my dream, I felt like it was Jon or Erik). But for some reason, my RA Sara (who doesn't even play ultimate) replied saying snottily, "Well, now you'll really have to work hard, because you were the weakest one at practice before." This pissed me off because she had onlly been at the first practice and didn't see me at sectionals when I scored half our goals and won most valuable offensive. I was just plain angry at her, but a part of me knew that the pregnancy would make me weaker eventually, even though I wasn't even showing yet.
Long and vivid and weird. That's how my dreams are.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
And there she lay, transformed into something beautiful by the passion of murder.
I don't know what to write about. I could use this time to tell the story of my new midnight mystery lover. Or I could tell you about my weekend in Naptown or I could write dark sentences or talk about how much I'm in love with Rocco DeLuca.
But it's hard to know who's reading. I don't want to waste intelligence on the average audience nor do I want to present mediocrity to the liberal artistic elite.
I don't know what to write about. I could use this time to tell the story of my new midnight mystery lover. Or I could tell you about my weekend in Naptown or I could write dark sentences or talk about how much I'm in love with Rocco DeLuca.
But it's hard to know who's reading. I don't want to waste intelligence on the average audience nor do I want to present mediocrity to the liberal artistic elite.
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